An air of discomfort

The air tastes metallic

Everything is grey

It‘s not the sting it used to be

Not the evil bite of frost

But a hint of cold tinges what you‘re breathing

Your heart is racing, like your mind,

As if they were competing

Trying to reach an end

Only an end

would result in your destruction

So you suck in the air

Taste it‘s humid metal on your lips

Try so hard to force down

Whatever it is that‘s stuck between your ribs

A heart

A breath

Who knows.

Rushing adrenaline

Makes your blood thunder in your ears

Why does it always have to be so hard?

For once, for once, wouldn't it be nice?

Wouldn't it be lovely if for once

Everything could just fall into place

As if touched by a magic hand?

Whispers the Wind

Your violence was ever present
underneath the surface
I never quite escaped the way
you always made me nervous

The Earth, she told me: "Let it go"
but I could never listen
Your howls were pounding at my door
demanding our submission

I was a clever straw
in bending but not breaking
but Earth, she never quite foresaw
her plates would soon be shaking

And your oppressing whispers
slid through crevices and cracks
and we could waste our wishes
but we'll never get it back

That picture of perfection
that your thrumming words once drew
it was never our reflection
cause our version's always skewed

It gripped our mind, for her and I
we wanted you around
but you only knew one way in life
and it wasn't on the ground

And to this day I bend my mind
to capture the lost meaning
of painful wounds the Earth still hides
and dreams I don't believe in.

It Stems from Fear

She is the same she's always been
a scandalous wreck-
chaotic dream
she stumbles, she slips
she blows off steam
she loses her grip
a lot it seems

She's fighting a battle
a losing war
(though who ever wins a war?)
She trips over how she can raise the bar
it's nothing, it's alright,
it's nothing at all

And who would have known
the mark was set
to heights where no human
is bound to get
cause even by standards
of normal men
she's failing,
she's breaking at the stem.

The Shore

So it's come to this again

the rain is pouring

on the earth where I stand.

I'm still just myself

And I know, I'm sure

you know what I mean,

I feel like the writing in the sand.

Every wave that hits me

is your words undisguised.

You just keep me busy

and it's not advised

that I see that dark note in your eyes.

It makes me dizzy.

I feel like,

yes I feel like,

I feel like the writing in the sand.

Made of art by a steady hand

but fading

on this earth where I stand

and the earth is shaking.

I feel like the writing in the sand

I'm slipping away,

I can't pretend

that I don't feel,

yes I feel like,

I feel like the writing in the sand. 

Broken Branches

Hold on to the illusion

that one day it will get better,

Hold on to it because you know

the alternative is bitter

And it’s quicker

To fight with a smile on your face

Instead of counting

the time that you waste

We had some words

Yeah, and we always came apart

I never found my way back to the start

And I can tell

You never really adjusted well

In this purgatory or hell,

you know...the place you dwell

You’re in limbo in my mind

And I’m stuck in the rewind

Wrote it so many times –

if only I could find

Just a way-just a sentinel,

some road to follow

I would beg, I would borrow,

I would give away tomorrow

Does it matter really?

You slander me so freely

It’s not an accident

but a choice you make daily

I’m the broken branches

of a tree with rotten roots

I’m evil too boot and it’s not that cute

I’m just a mean person –

I’m the jerk you love to hate

I’m everything that grates

on your nerves, it’s too late

I can’t be changed.

It doesn’t matter much

All I am is out of touch

I fall behind on

every point of adult life.

And it’s fine

This misery is purely mine

And I’ll love it dearly

until the end of my time.

To the Goner

You were my roots that are now rotten
They turned to dust but are never forgotten
I remember how it feels, though I've never told
I remember the feeling of having a home

In my mind I have hidden a portrait of you
But I fear it's fading away from the truth
And all I'll become seems so minute and useless
I'm searching for any good reason to do this
To just keep on being whatever I'll be
Why keep on acting when you're not there to see?