Heart of Hearts

You were my heart of hearts

The blood of my blood

that ran through my veins

my leader and my teacher

my happiness and pain

Several times  I looked to you

To see what I would be

The roots of my tree

The trunk to my branches and leaves

You were the wind

And I‘m just the rustle

A faint echo

Of your hustle and bustle

You were most precious

And my moving power

The force that affected my being

A tower, a beacon of light

For my eyes

The light grew too bright

It blinded my sight

And now I will never see it again

My very beginning has met its own end.

Broken Branches

Hold on to the illusion

that one day it will get better,

Hold on to it because you know

the alternative is bitter

And it’s quicker

To fight with a smile on your face

Instead of counting

the time that you waste

We had some words

Yeah, and we always came apart

I never found my way back to the start

And I can tell

You never really adjusted well

In this purgatory or hell,

you know...the place you dwell

You’re in limbo in my mind

And I’m stuck in the rewind

Wrote it so many times –

if only I could find

Just a way-just a sentinel,

some road to follow

I would beg, I would borrow,

I would give away tomorrow

Does it matter really?

You slander me so freely

It’s not an accident

but a choice you make daily

I’m the broken branches

of a tree with rotten roots

I’m evil too boot and it’s not that cute

I’m just a mean person –

I’m the jerk you love to hate

I’m everything that grates

on your nerves, it’s too late

I can’t be changed.

It doesn’t matter much

All I am is out of touch

I fall behind on

every point of adult life.

And it’s fine

This misery is purely mine

And I’ll love it dearly

until the end of my time.

To the Goner

You were my roots that are now rotten
They turned to dust but are never forgotten
I remember how it feels, though I've never told
I remember the feeling of having a home

In my mind I have hidden a portrait of you
But I fear it's fading away from the truth
And all I'll become seems so minute and useless
I'm searching for any good reason to do this
To just keep on being whatever I'll be
Why keep on acting when you're not there to see?